Are you a Christian? Have you waited until the last minute to buy the perfect gift for your sweetie? Well, I have just the thing for you!
As a service to the one or two people who somehow find my blog every week or three, I like to watch late night Christian programming on DirecTv’s church channels. Now, it’s important to know that the absolute best shows come on late at night. Paula White, Creflo Dollar, Benny Hinn and other prosperity preachers have deep pockets (obviously because God loves them more than the rest of us), so they can afford to buy up all the prime time programming. Thus, shows that are on after about 1 AM are usually much more entertaining since they don’t have the slick production value of the big time shows.
I’ve written before about noted celebrity preacher Todd Coontz, who guarantees fast results if you’ll only send him $1,000. (Put it on the credit card for your convenience, if you’d like!) I like Todd Coontz (other than when he’s encouraging widow ladies to send him $1,000). He wears really fancy suits and is secure enough in his masculinity to wear a gold braclet on his wrist! His show is sort of slick; in the introduction, we see pictures of the kinds of luxury cars and homes we might expect if he prays for us. (Trust me, they are nice!) Todd Coontz is up and coming, mark my words.
I have considerably less hope for Danny Davis. If Todd Coontz is the poor man’s Paula White, Danny Davis is the poorer man’s Todd Coontz.
Left: While preaching at a recent revival, Danny Davis suddenly becomes enormous and miraculously levitates over the crowd.
To his credit, Danny Davis doesn’t beg widows and desperate business owners to send him $1,000.00 . The focus of his show is getting people to call the toll-free number to request the FREE “No Evil Oil” which has been prayed over 17 times(!). If you’d rather, you can order your vial of “No Evil Oil” over the internets at http://www.noeviloil.com. (Be careful not to confuse the url with an enemy site: http://www.no,eviloil.com.)
Right: No Evil Oil is blessed by 17 prayers and is low in saturated fat, and contains no artery-clogging trans-fat!
Have you been searching for the right prayer blessed oil? Well, Danny Davis has it and it’s FREE! (A $5.00 or more donation for shipping would be nice though, according to the website.) Where did this miraculous oil come from? The website explains:
God laid it on Dannys heart to create an special blend of blood Red anointing oil, made with biblical ingredients of old.
Was Red #40 in the Old or New Testament? I’m just kidding, I have no idea what’s in the No Evil Oil!
By now, the burning question has arisen in your mind, and the Website answers it:
Some have asked, “Why would Danny invest thousands doing this?” Folks, hopefully by now you have the understanding that we want to see you and your loved ones abundantly blessed in every area of life! In fact, this was the Lords desire and commission – go into all the world and preach the good news! Jesus wants no one has to perish, the poor fed, the sick healed, devils cast out – you name it, He wants you every bit whole! This should be the desire of every Christian – it’s definitely ours!!
Of course, you wouldn’t want to get No Evil Oil and not know how to use it, would you? No worries, mate!
Danny will provide detailed instructions about how to use the No Evil Oil!
But, back to my original point. If you’re looking for some great gifts for any tacky Christian friends or loved ones, Danny Davis’ site has a treasure trove! Ladies and Gentlemen, I present:
His and hers Jesus watches! These elaborate timepieces feature a picture of Jesus,along with what his autograph would look like today. I am assuming that Danny Davis can’t read Roman Numerals though, because the site description includes this bit: “A note worthy feature on the watch is – instead of listing numbers, the names of the 12 Disciples are listed in their place!”
But that’s not all…..
Religious Tote Bags!!
Here we find some selection. You have option A:
Right: For your toting pleasure, the “I believe in Jesus” tote bag. Perfect for every occasion!
Or Option B:
So please, take time to peruse Danny’s site today!