Archive for February, 2008

Great Valentine’s Gift for Christians with no taste

February 26, 2008 at 1:24 am · Filed under Fake Preachers on TBN

Are you a Christian? Have you waited until the last minute to buy the perfect gift for your sweetie? Well, I have just the thing for you!

As a service to the one or two people who somehow find my blog every week or three, I like to watch late night Christian programming on DirecTv’s church channels. Now, it’s important to know that the absolute best shows come on late at night. Paula White, Creflo Dollar, Benny Hinn and other prosperity preachers have deep pockets (obviously because God loves them more than the rest of us), so they can afford to buy up all the prime time programming. Thus, shows that are on after about 1 AM are usually much more entertaining since they don’t have the slick production value of the big time shows.

I’ve written before about noted celebrity preacher Todd Coontz, who guarantees fast results if you’ll only send him $1,000. (Put it on the credit card for your convenience, if you’d like!) I like Todd Coontz (other than when he’s encouraging widow ladies to send him $1,000). He wears really fancy suits and is secure enough in his masculinity to wear a gold braclet on his wrist! His show is sort of slick; in the introduction, we see pictures of the kinds of luxury cars and homes we might expect if he prays for us. (Trust me, they are nice!) Todd Coontz is up and coming, mark my words.

I have considerably less hope for Danny Davis. If Todd Coontz is the poor man’s Paula White, Danny Davis is the poorer man’s Todd Coontz.

Danny Davis becomes enormous and floats out over the audience at a recent revival Left: While preaching at a recent revival, Danny Davis suddenly becomes enormous and miraculously levitates over the crowd.

To his credit, Danny Davis doesn’t beg widows and desperate business owners to send him $1,000.00 . The focus of his show is getting people to call the toll-free number to request the FREE “No Evil Oil” which has been prayed over 17 times(!). If you’d rather, you can order your vial of “No Evil Oil” over the internets at www.noeviloil.com. (Be careful not to confuse the url with an enemy site: www.no,eviloil.com.)

No Evil Oil, suitable for blessing, annointing and frying Right: No Evil Oil is blessed by 17 prayers and is low in saturated fat, and contains no artery-clogging trans-fat!

Have you been searching for the right prayer blessed oil? Well, Danny Davis has it and it’s FREE! (A $5.00 or more donation for shipping would be nice though, according to the website.) Where did this miraculous oil come from? The website explains:

God laid it on Dannys heart to create an special blend of blood Red anointing oil, made with biblical ingredients of old.

Was Red #40 in the Old or New Testament? I’m just kidding, I have no idea what’s in the No Evil Oil!

By now, the burning question has arisen in your mind, and the Website answers it:

Some have asked, “Why would Danny invest thousands doing this?” Folks, hopefully by now you have the understanding that we want to see you and your loved ones abundantly blessed in every area of life! In fact, this was the Lords desire and commission – go into all the world and preach the good news! Jesus wants no one has to perish, the poor fed, the sick healed, devils cast out – you name it, He wants you every bit whole! This should be the desire of every Christian – it’s definitely ours!!

Of course, you wouldn’t want to get No Evil Oil and not know how to use it, would you?  No worries, mate!

No evil oil rocks!Danny will provide detailed instructions about how to use the No Evil Oil!

use that no evil oil

But, back to my original point.  If you’re looking for some great gifts for any tacky Christian friends or loved ones, Danny Davis’ site has a treasure trove!  Ladies and Gentlemen, I present:

Jesus Watches!!

Jesus watches

His and hers Jesus watches!  These elaborate timepieces feature a picture of Jesus,along with what his autograph would look like today.  I am assuming that Danny Davis can’t read Roman Numerals though, because the site description includes this bit:  “A note worthy feature on the watch is – instead of listing numbers, the names of the 12 Disciples are listed in their place!”

But that’s not all…..

Religious Tote Bags!!

Here we find some selection.  You have option A:

Jesus has a brand new bag

Right:  For your toting pleasure, the “I believe in Jesus” tote bag.  Perfect for every occasion!

Or Option B:

So please, take time to peruse Danny’s site today!

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Voting? Don’t waste your time. (Unless you’ll vote like me.)

February 12, 2008 at 4:05 pm · Filed under Citizenship, Election, Hillary Clinton, Politics, Voting

Michael from Oak Leaf Church had a post about James Dobson claiming he will sit out the election if John McCain is the Republican nominee. It generated some pretty interesting replies. I had the cynical, minority opinion. My comment was actually much longer than I intended, so I thought I’d reproduce it here:

Thoughts on Get Out the Vote Drives

1. Voting is not a duty. No one is obligated to vote, and honestly, standing in line to vote is one of the LEAST effective ways to affect public policy. Spending 10 minutes writing a letter to your Congressman has a much greater effect than standing in line for 10 minutes to vote.

2. Voting is a matter of faith. Not religious faith, but faith that thousands of other people that you don’t even know will vote the same way you do. Face it, one vote in a federal level election DOES NOT make a difference. I can assure you that the presidential election will not come down to one vote. I can assure you that no congressional election will come down to one vote. Realistically, your single vote makes no difference.

3. One vote DOES make a difference in local elections because there are much fewer votes cast. If people were rational, they would spend lots of time learning about issues and candidates in local elections because their vote carries some actual weight. In reality, the opposite is true: Voting participation is much higher in national elections, while participation in smaller local elections is negligible.

4. I vote. I NEVER encourage people who I think would vote differently than me to vote. Why should I encourage someone to cancel out my vote? On the other hand, I never discourage anyone from voting, although I do point out the facts stated above. I recognize that voting is an important part of our republican form of government, but I really think if someone needs to be ENCOURAGED to get out and vote, they probably don’t know enough to make an informed decision anyway. I don’t really want those people to participate.

4A. Some guy from Stanford University thinks that the candidate at the top of the ballot picks up three percentage points just by being on the top of the ballot. (I wrote about this on my blog a few weeks ago.) Do you really want to ENCOURAGE people who weren’t already planning to vote to vote?

5. Every vote that ISN’T cast by someone else makes my vote marginally more powerful. I have much more confidence in my consideration of the issues and the candidates than I have in the masses. If I was the only person who voted, I would probably be pretty happy with the results :)

6. Even if you don’t vote, you DO have the right to complain. Complaining is a right secured by the First Amendment, which isn’t conditioned on voting, or anything else for that matter.

7.. Someday I’m going to print some bumper stickers that say “Don’t Blame Me — I Didn’t Vote!” I think that could be the next big thing.

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